"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do."
Benjamin Spock, writer of 'Baby and Child Care', 1977
If you wish to increase self-confidence you should learn that it has so much to do with attitude aside from ability.
I've known many people who, while they lacked ability in a certain field, completely 'oozed' confidence! I'm not talking about bragging about how excellent they are at tennis, or singing, or public speaking - when actually they're not. I'm talking about feeling fine about not being skilled in those areas and doing them anyway!
A few things are simply not important enough to stress about - but we do just the same and create pointless stress for ourselves. Whether you fall over trying to ice-skate, make a hash of cooking, be unsuccessful at DIY or simply fear that you may not be good at using a personal computer if you tried it, so you don't - does it really matter?
Of course there are a number of things that are important! Being good at your profession is certainly one of them; creating good relationships is another. In these instances it's good to find a number of methods to assist you.
What building selfconfidence boils down to is getting rid of that voice inside your brain that tells you that you're going to fail if you try, that you're no good at this type of thing, that you're going to make a fool of yourself - or whatever the specific message is that rocks your self-confidence.
Those messages don't necessarily tell the truth:
They may have been told to you, previously, by other people who had their very own agenda. Sometimes people may say things to put you down so they would feel better about themselves!
They could have been your own interpretation of what someone said. Often what we hear just isn't what is meant, thus if I say "You're not very good at physical activities", you might hear that as a criticism or someone saying "You're a failure!"
They could be based on a specific experience you had which prompted you to write down that message in your head yourself. Let's say you tried building a bookcase once however it didn't look very good when you completed it. Therefore, in your mind you believe you're no good at carpentry and will never try again. However you could have acknowledged that this wasn't too bad for your 1st attempt and that you'd perhaps improve with experience.
Your own attitude is the factor that will carry you to success, or defeat you before you even begin.
When you don't think you can do it - odds are really high that you won't. And when you believe all of the unfavorable messages from the past, you may as well build a brick wall between you and your objectives. (And do not forget, you fail 100% of the opportunities you don't even go for!)
However when you believe you could do it, when you can visualise yourself in your mind doing it, chances are extremely strong that you will do well!
There's a saying: "Change the way you look at things and the things you look at would change." (The half full - half empty glass is an example of this!)
But you do not have to do this on your own, and confidence coaching would assist you to to find alternative ways of looking at things. And the coach will help you to spot your destructive beliefs and destroy those brick walls that stand between you and your own goals. Developing your confidence will undoubtedly help you to realize what you want from life.
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